Monday, March 30, 2009
I didnt like what i saw.
Although, i honestly from the bottom of my heart know
theres no one else to put the blame on but myself.
At the same time i know that if i had a chance to do it all over again, i would
probably do the same thing,
not because i want to but because that's just who i am.
The person i am takes over who i try to be or want to be any day any moment.
I try to be more disciplined but i can't, im just wild and stubborn.
I try to be more matured and think further ahead, and i do in some senses,
but i don't in many ways.
But everyone just needs to give me time, because they don't realize
that as much as they feel bad or unsatisfied or disappointed in me,
i feel so much more worse than they could ever possibly imagine.
Ultimately everything that i do, i bear the consequences.
And they might feel affected,
but they're not even close, not even.
By telling me 'i told you so' isnt gonna help at all and if you do say that
i'll probably tell you to fuck off.
And don't comfort me because that'l make me cry.
If you dont do anything it might be better, but i might also take it as you dont care.
Dont ask me me what you should do then
cuz i'll get mad, and how would i know what you should do.
It seems to me it should come to you automatically what you should do,
but at the same time, i know whatever it is youre gonna do is not gonna work anyway.
So i dont know.
That how retarded i am.
Im a fool. But so are you.
We're so imperfect,
its annoying.
9:26 PM
Monday, March 30, 2009
I didnt like what i saw.
Although, i honestly from the bottom of my heart know
theres no one else to put the blame on but myself.
At the same time i know that if i had a chance to do it all over again, i would
probably do the same thing,
not because i want to but because that's just who i am.
The person i am takes over who i try to be or want to be any day any moment.
I try to be more disciplined but i can't, im just wild and stubborn.
I try to be more matured and think further ahead, and i do in some senses,
but i don't in many ways.
But everyone just needs to give me time, because they don't realize
that as much as they feel bad or unsatisfied or disappointed in me,
i feel so much more worse than they could ever possibly imagine.
Ultimately everything that i do, i bear the consequences.
And they might feel affected,
but they're not even close, not even.
By telling me 'i told you so' isnt gonna help at all and if you do say that
i'll probably tell you to fuck off.
And don't comfort me because that'l make me cry.
If you dont do anything it might be better, but i might also take it as you dont care.
Dont ask me me what you should do then
cuz i'll get mad, and how would i know what you should do.
It seems to me it should come to you automatically what you should do,
but at the same time, i know whatever it is youre gonna do is not gonna work anyway.
So i dont know.
That how retarded i am.
Im a fool. But so are you.
We're so imperfect,
its annoying.
»9:26 PM
I realized how fun it is to look back on past happenings. So for future's sake, here we go